I know it could be worse

I really do. In fact I was sent a prayer request this week for a family whose teenage son has cancer... again. Although I don't know this family at all I am praying for them, and that reminder has helped me to keep things in perspective. I know all this in my head, but I must admit there is a tiny crack in my heart this night for a beautiful little girl... my first born... my love bug, Avery.


Honestly, I'm not sure why I feel so off kilter about everything. Nothing we have learned this week was shocking or even surprising, but when the reality is staring you in the face sometimes the pill is hard to swallow.


Avery had her hearing test and follow up exam from her surgery this Wednesday. Although she is hearing much better than before the surgery, she is still showing significant hearing loss so we have been referred to a pediatric ENT specialist to see where we go from here. The doctor is suspecting nerve damage from all the ear infections. From what we have researched, there isn't much to be done. Either she has hearing loss, but can still function or we will look into hearing aids. There doesn't seem to be a solution or cure. I was a child with hearing loss, and in fact the doctors told my parents that I would never read because of it. I find it ironic that I learned to read before kindergarten and I now teach reading. So I know that this won't be something that keeps her from reaching her goals, whatever they may be, but it is a difficulty.


We met with her eye doctor Thursday morning. It was determined that her eye is still crossing although it is significantly better than it was before her surgery. The only way to correct the remaining crossing is surgery. However, the doctor said there is no rush for this. She will not digress so we can wait until summer or even next summer if we want. In fact it is possible that we won't do the surgery. We are to continue patching for 2 hours a day and we will reevaluate in 6 months. The doctor said that if she is doing well, and the crossing isn't noticeable then it could be better to forego the surgery because this one is much more risky than the first.


And finally we met with Avery's teacher Thursday afternoon. I must say that Mrs. Anderson has been amazing. She has a patience and love for Avery that surpasses my expectations, and I could not ask for a better teacher. We talked about the challenges that Avery has had this year (and there have been many), but when it comes down to it Avery is really struggling with focus and attention span. So much that it is starting to affect her relationships with the other students. I hate that for her. Even as I type this my heart sqeezes. She did say (and I quote) that Avery is brilliant. That she passed all the testing with flying colors. She was shocked at the amount she knew... partly because you never think she's listening as she's bouncing off the walls, and also because she can't get her to put much on paper so it's hard to gage what has stuck in that little brain of hers. We have an appointment with the pediatrician next Thursday to see what could be causing this. Now before you all start having a stroke, we are not considering medication at this time or really anything drastic. As my mother also pointed out, I sat on the fence at recess during kindergarten 9 out of 10 days, and look how great I turned out! :) But, we do want to make sure that we are doing everything at this point to make sure that she is healthy and successful as she starts kindergarten next year. (Gulp - is my little girl really going to big school?!?!?!)


I have asked myself several times what I am expecting and wanting for Avery. There is a battle going on inside myself because my heart screams that I want an easy road for her - no challenges or difficulties. But then I remember that the difficulties and challenges are what make us stronger and bring us closer to God. So I beg you to pray for all of us in the weeks and months ahead. Please pray for wisdom for Josh and I - I am terrified when I think of all the decisions that will have to be made - and endurance for Avery. The road won't be smooth sailing, but I know that all of us will come out stronger on the other side with a new outlook. And I know that someday I will look back at this week and this year and see all the times that God has carried us through. And how through it all, we are closer to Him.

Singing Away

This is the song we heard from the back seat tonight...

Jesus loves the little children.

All the children of the world.

Red and Yellow, Black and White

They are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Jesus diapered (died for) all the children.

All the children of the world.

Red and Yellow, Black and White.

They are precious in His sight.

Jesus diapered all the children of the world.

Goodness, Jesus must be tired from all those diapers.

A Great Weekend

It's rare at our house. A weekend where there are no meetings, committments, items on the agenda. (Well, Josh had a deacon's meeting Saturday morning, but we weren't moving yet, so that doesn't really count.) We watched movies on Friday night. The girls didn't watch much, but loved moving the pillows and blankets around about a hundred times.

Saturday morning Avery and Josh went to build at Lowe's. Josh and I got to go on our annual fondue date Saturday evening. It's a little past the anniversary, Christmas, and New Year celebrations, but in some ways that made it even better. There was no rushing around and worrying about everything else going on.

This seems to be the outfit of the year. Includes dress, tiara, poms and VERY loud shoes. If we're not wearing all of it, you can bet we are still wearing the VERY loud shoes.

We can even get this one to play along sometimes.

Got a beautiful picture of the little girl yesterday, which is rare. Not because she's not beautiful, but because she's never still long enough to get the shot.

All in all, it was a wonderful, relaxing weekend. Next weekend will be even better! Why?!?!?!? GRANDMA AND GRANDPA ARE MOVING TO TEXAS!

Time is Flying!

Well here we are, already well into January, and I have not even posted Christmas pictures. It seems as if I just can't keep up. So, sorry to the few of you who actually read this. It just seems that sometimes playing hair and painting toes and having movie nights are more important. But I do enjoy looking back at how far we've come in such a short time so here I am posting again. Thank you to my "loyal readers" (Ahem... STACEY!) for your patience and gentle reminders.

As I've looked back over our Christmas season the past couple of weeks, I think this was our best by far for several reasons. It was wonderful to be in OUR house. We are completely enjoying our home and we think that eventually we might get everything settled... maybe next summer. The biggest reason however, was that we were able to spend time as a family... LOTS of time... and LOTS of family... and really that was the best Christmas present I could have asked for. Josh was off almost the entire time I was which was a wonderful blessing. Josh's parents arrived on Tuesday armed with fudge (for me) and cookie dough (for Avery). We were able to spend time with my family on Christmas eve, and the most wonderful part was that on Christmas morning we had a big breakfast with both sets of grandparents. What a special time and I know that I will treasure the pictures forever. Jason, Alicia and the boys arrived on Christmas afternoon, but unfortunately had to leave the next morning due to a stomach virus.

Although some would look in at our family and all the different circumstances we are facing and think that this might not have been a great Christmas. How completely wrong they would be. Because the most important part of the season is the focus on Jesus and spending time together, we could not have had a better time. And that is how I will always remember the Christmas of 2008.